No Kissing on the First Date

Since I started dating again coming up on 2 years now, I have had my share of many make out sessions on first dates. I grew tired of it around the end of 2008 so I made the decision that I would no longer kiss on the first date. If you think about it, it is weird to be swapping bodily fluids with strangers that you have known for such a short time. I love to kiss and it is a real intimate thing for me. Tonight I went on a date with Steven. He is a really nice guy. He is probably the nicest guy I have ever been out with from online dating. One issue that I have is that he is shorter then me. His profile says he is 5'6 but he is probably more along the lines of 5'5. This is something that I can get over because after a while, for the most part, I don't see the physical anymore. He has a very attractive face with dark eyes, dark hair, and big full lips. Just how I like it. He has been divorced over a year and has kids. He was a virgin until 26 years old when he married his wife. Since the divorce, he has had sex with 2 women. He has a job in sales management and seems to be well liked by many people. We went to dinner and had a great time. I was so nervous that I felt like I was having mild panic attacks as we were sitting at the table. My throat kept clinching up as I swallowed my food which made everything uncomfortable to me. Time for a drink I thought! So I ordered my favorite dirty martini. He does not drink. I really like it when a man drinks a little at least. It makes it all a little more fun. After dinner he extended the date and we went bowling. I had a great time. We had good conversation. He walked me to my car. I thought I could get by with just a hug but then he kissed me on my lips. I stopped him and told him I do not kiss on the first date. He asked me if I was a "rules girl". I said no, it is just my thing and not to take offense. This was the first time that I ever rejected a guy that I wanted to kiss so it was very awkward. It did feel funny with him being shorter than me when he leaned up to kiss me. I felt guilty about the rejection when I got in my car so I sent him a text with a photo of him bowling. He responded immediately to my text but now I have the feeling that I will never hear from him again.

Long Time No Post

Happy New Year! I have not posted since November. I took a little break. I have been real busy and focused on my goals. I have lost 6 more pounds since my last post. It really does come off slower as you get older! I have not been on many dates but I have talked to a few men. I met one man at the gym. Imagine that! Meeting a man at the gym...no makeup, sweaty, gym clothes! He is very cute but I am afraid our age difference is too much. We have been talking through email. I have dated much older men in the past but it did not work well so I probably will opt out of this one.

Austin pops in my mind all the time. I feel a sense of longing for him and it drives me crazy. My feelings for him intensify right around PMS so that may have something to do with it. I do want to see him again and can't wait until the day that I do. Something within me tells me that there is more to the story with him.