The Date with the French Man

I just got home from a fabulous date. We were both nervous to meet each other. I arrived on time and he was already upstairs at the bar waiting for me. He wore a button up shirt with a tie. Very handsome. I love his face, he has a million dollar smile along with beautiful brown puppy dog eyes and long eyelashes. His body is rockin' as well :) We had dinner at a French restaurant on top of the roof while listening to live jazz. The air outside was perfect. Everything I ate, I had never had before (escargot, baked salmon). It was so delicious. He said that he loved the place and that it reminded him of home. He ordered a bottle of wine from France. Every time my glass was empty, he would pour it for me. I love being taken care of like that. It was neat seeing him so excited about the wine and food. He is a wine connoisseur. I was so impressed with his knowledge about wine. When we received our dinner, I asked him if he wanted to try some of my food. He said sure and then he got some of his food and fed me. I did the same in return. What a turn on.

We left the restaurant and walked down the street to a bar. He sat next to me in the booth and we drank exotic beers all night. I was rolling on a good buzz. He was smooth and snuck the kiss in while we were in the booth. His lips are big like mine so they fit well together. We kissed many short, sweet kisses while in the bar. All night long he gave me great eye contact. He consistently stared into my eyes. It was nice. Many beers later, he asked some deeper questions. At this point, my eyes started welling up with tears and they streamed down my face. How embarrassing! LOL He was awesome about it though. He grabbed my hand, kissed it, and faced his body with mine and nurtured my emotions. I asked the waitress to take our photo. He later asked if I could send the photos to him.

We left the bar and walked down the street and briefly checkout out the beautiful park. Then we went to my car and I drove us back to where he was parked. We stayed in my car for the next 3 hours making out! I love to kiss and he is an exceptional kisser. I did go further sexually than I normally do on a first date. He was very intense with me. I could feel his desire. I did get turned off when he asked me to give him oral sex. I could not believe he asked me to do that so fast. I told him that it was not the right time. We talked about our date for Saturday night and where we would like to go. He told me that it does not matter to him because he just wants to spend time with me. Phillipe and I have great chemistry. I think we get each other. It was very apparent when we would give each other a look and know that the other was thinking the same exact thing. Then we would bust out laughing. This will be interesting.

I am the type of person that has a real hard time having sex so quickly with a man. Sometimes I hate the fact that I struggle with it. After all, I am a 30s woman with a big sexual appetite. Part of me likes that I cannot have sex with a man until an emotional connection is established. Another part of me wants to be able to be free to have sex without feeling anything. So many women go way too fast sexually with a man which makes it very difficult for those of us that go slower. I can tell that with each man I date, the expectations are higher. Phillipe did tell me that he would wait for me to have sex. After tonight, I now know that he is highly charged sexually. I am too. I just hope he can be patient for me.

Right now I have this crazy insecure feeling. It all stems from a fear of abandonment and a fear of rejection. This happens sometimes when I have a really great date. I get fearful that I will never hear from them again. If you look at my history, that has never been the case but the fear still lingers...