My Steamy Date with Austin

Last Friday was one of the most amazing days of my life. I wanted to see Austin so bad all year and the day finally came. I did not feel like I was ready to see him because I had not been taking care of myself but I went with it anyway and hoped for the best.

In order to explain the importance of this date, I need to give some background on Austin. He is upper 30's, people pleaser, beautiful brown eyes, highly intelligent, geeky, and commitment- phobic. We dated 3 months last year with no commitment. I was cool with that. It was the best time I have ever had dating. I built trust with Austin and eventually had sex with him. It had been many years since I had sex. The last time I saw Austin was the only time I ever slept with him. We had spent the night together at least 3 times but no intercourse. The night we slept together I planned it. Austin escorted me to an event. We were all dressed up. It was a wonderful evening. He came back to my place and we had great sex. I could not of imagined a more perfect night. Every detail was in place. The next morning, we had wake up sex and then he was off to work. He kissed me bye and emailed me that afternoon but he never called me again! I did not react to it. I pulled away from him and 1 1/2 months later, he contacted me by email and apologized. We exchanged a few emails in the beginning of 2008 but that was it. I was devastated by the rejection. I did not stop though, I kept on dating. I did go through a funk over it and put on some weight. All year I wondered why Austin never called. We dated for 3 months. It was not like we were on the first date. I went through every reason I could think of to try and figure it out. Now, I know why he never called.

Fast forward to the present. I was so nervous to see Austin. I spent lots of time grooming so I felt like a million bucks when I went to go meet him. He originally said that he wanted to meet somewhere near me but I told him I wanted to meet him near the city. He suggested a wine bar which is the place we went on our first date last year. I walked up to the wine bar where we were meeting and he was sitting at a table outside. It was a lovely evening. He got up to hug me and kissed me on the cheek. We sat down and talked for a long time before ordering our wine. We both tried different wine flights and he also ordered a cheese tray. What I love about Austin is that he takes care of me really well. He would cut the cheese and bread and hand it to me. He had my wine glasses perfectly lined up where I knew what I was drinking. I did not know if this was friendly or if this was a date so I kept my distance. We had a great time talking and laughing. Austin kept touching my arm so I knew this was more than friendly. He eventually held my hand.

Next we went to another bar with loud dance music and hookahs. The place is so sexy. We sat on a really nice round, high backed couch. The lights were dim. We ordered some drinks and smoked a hookah. He kissed me and wow. He told me he forgot how sensual my kisses are. I was so happy that I wondered if it was actually real. We teased each other a bit and kissed off and on. The conversation was really fun. I learned so much more about him. I felt like he opened up and trusted me more. Later, we talked about going back to his place. I was not sure if I was ready for that so I was still considering it. All year long I have wanted to have sex with him and here it is right in front of me! The last person I slept with was Austin. The night moved on and I was seriously buzzed from the dirty martinis. I did not eat much earlier so that had everything to do with it.

After we left, Austin drove us by a late night fast food place so that I could sober up before driving. He was so cute. The man really knows how to serve me and please me. He totally gets my sexuality as well. We have never had to talk about it. As we were driving back to my car I told him that I had an idea. I said that I was staying in a hotel up the road for an event and he could come up. I told him to wait in the car while I went in to check in. Then I would text him my room number. My room was on the top floor overlooking the city with floor to ceiling windows. It was one hot, sexy night. When we were laying on the bed, he tells me that he felt humiliated the last time that we were together. He said that it was not me, that he felt like he could not "perform" for me sexually what I deserved. Looking back now, I put way too much pressure on him sexually that night. I did not mean to. It was my first time after many years so I joked about getting it on all night. This created performance anxiety in him. I remember him telling me that there was something wrong and that he needed to see a doctor. I told him that it was completely normal. I believe now that this is why he never called me. He was humiliated because he had performance anxiety. He went through it again this time as well and he tried to cover it up. I was trying to comfort him and let him know it is completely normal. He ended up telling me that he wanted to hold me all night long. We did and it was wonderful. I love that.

The next morning we woke up and took a shower together. He washed my hair, conditioned it, soaped me, and dried me off. We had more sex after that. Then he left to catch a plane and I had to get ready. He called me 5 minutes after he left and said that he had a wonderful time. I honestly don't know if I will hear from him. I told him to text me when he gets back in town. I want to believe that he will call or contact me in some way because he has such a conscience. If he does not, my plan is to not let another year go by in silence, I will nudge him and pursue him gently and slowly. This man excites me and he motivates me to face my greatest fears. And to think that when I first met him that I told myself that he was too geeky and that I would never see him again. HA! At the very least, I want him in my life as a friend. We get along so well and I have such a blast. Time will only tell.