Catching Up

It has been a long time since I last posted. Many things have changed. Rick and I never made it to dating. He ended up revealing to a female friend how much he liked me. She in turn told me. When we got around each other, the electricity was obvious to me and everyone else around us. It all was going well until a lady who is friends with our friends told him how much she liked him. It was as if she knew we liked each other and then went in for the kill. Then it all changed between Rick and I. It fizzled. Fast forward to now and they are engaged! The crazy part about all of this is that the same exact thing happened to me 4 years ago with another guy. It was the same exact situation. They got married quickly. I even went to the wedding. This last time with Rick stung a little and I retreated back into my shell and away from dating since April. I have been busy so there has not been much time to date. My job is more than full time and I enrolled back in school. I have really been enjoying school. I did go on one date recently which I will post about later.

A Bowling Blast!

Lately, Rick has been finding reasons to talk to me. He will call, text, or email about something that would be easy for him to get the answer to. I think it is sweet. Tonight, I met up at a restaurant with Rick and some mutual friends. When I walked in, he came to me immediately and had me sit down with him. We went through some photos that I brought. We had some fun and flirty conversation. Later, we all went bowling. What a blast! He is a fantastic bowler! I talked a bunch of smack saying that I would beat everyone. I came in last place in the first game! Then I got better and came in 2nd for the last 2 games. He place 1st in all of the games. We had so much fun and bowled until after midnight. I think he purposely stayed around to be near me! Cute! I really think we could get serious. He is really into me.

He Called Me

Today I forwarded Rick an email that he needed to see and instead of responding by email, he called me. I think he used it as an excuse. We spoke for 2 hours and 45 minutes. We can relate to each other a lot. Our conversation ran deep. He is normally someone that goes to bed early so I was surprised to see him stay up this late!

Definite Connection

My feelings are confirmed. I saw him later today and he stopped me and said that he had so much fun talking to me and that he very much enjoyed it. Then he wanted to stay around me and we spoke for about 45 minutes after everyone else left. He gave me a hug later and said that my hair smelled nice. Later this evening, he sent me a text that thanked me for talking to him. He said that he is really enjoying getting to know who I am. Yay!

The Connection

Something crazy happened today. I have been totally focused on myself lately. I have not really paid much attention to men. Tonight, I felt a connection from a conversation with a man that I have known for a few years. His name is Rick. He is handsome and not really my usual type but he has a beautiful heart! A few months back, a lady told me that he had a crush on me. I told her to go and confirm it and the next day she told me that I was too intimidating for him. I was confused by it because she just said that he had a crush. I ignored it, pushed it aside and moved on. This brings me to today. When I have seen him lately, I pretend not to notice him unless he approaches me. Today he did approach me. All that we did was talk about a competition that my daughter is involved in and I left the conversation feeling warm fuzzies. It was like cupid shot me in the butt. I have thought about it ever since. It was definitely a connection.

No Kissing on the First Date

Since I started dating again coming up on 2 years now, I have had my share of many make out sessions on first dates. I grew tired of it around the end of 2008 so I made the decision that I would no longer kiss on the first date. If you think about it, it is weird to be swapping bodily fluids with strangers that you have known for such a short time. I love to kiss and it is a real intimate thing for me. Tonight I went on a date with Steven. He is a really nice guy. He is probably the nicest guy I have ever been out with from online dating. One issue that I have is that he is shorter then me. His profile says he is 5'6 but he is probably more along the lines of 5'5. This is something that I can get over because after a while, for the most part, I don't see the physical anymore. He has a very attractive face with dark eyes, dark hair, and big full lips. Just how I like it. He has been divorced over a year and has kids. He was a virgin until 26 years old when he married his wife. Since the divorce, he has had sex with 2 women. He has a job in sales management and seems to be well liked by many people. We went to dinner and had a great time. I was so nervous that I felt like I was having mild panic attacks as we were sitting at the table. My throat kept clinching up as I swallowed my food which made everything uncomfortable to me. Time for a drink I thought! So I ordered my favorite dirty martini. He does not drink. I really like it when a man drinks a little at least. It makes it all a little more fun. After dinner he extended the date and we went bowling. I had a great time. We had good conversation. He walked me to my car. I thought I could get by with just a hug but then he kissed me on my lips. I stopped him and told him I do not kiss on the first date. He asked me if I was a "rules girl". I said no, it is just my thing and not to take offense. This was the first time that I ever rejected a guy that I wanted to kiss so it was very awkward. It did feel funny with him being shorter than me when he leaned up to kiss me. I felt guilty about the rejection when I got in my car so I sent him a text with a photo of him bowling. He responded immediately to my text but now I have the feeling that I will never hear from him again.

The "Ultimate" Cheatin' Ex-Boyfriend

I found my first real boyfriend, Jay, on Facebook a few days ago. He is the man that I lost my virginity to and the one that ripped my heart out when he cheated on me multiple times. We were also engaged at one time. I have been looking for him for years. Not to reconnect a love romance but to see what his life turned out like. He is now married with 3 kids. It appears to me that his wife is who helped turn his life around. We met for lunch today. It was odd at first because we are both now adults not teenagers. He apologized for being such a jerk to me in the past. I did feel his emotional neediness towards me, though. After we finished our lunch, I asked him if he would take a photo with me because I am creating an album for "ex boyfriends". He laughed and said he would. He also told me that he is the "ultimate" ex-boyfriend because he was the one that "had" me first. Do all men think like this? What freakin' nerve! We sat next to each other while the waiter took our photo. His hand went on my leg and he immediately removed it. He later texted me and made some comments towards me that made me think that he is still a cheater so I called him out on it. I thank God that I never ended up with him. We are 2 totally different people now and what attracts me to a man is much more than what he can offer me. I told him that I plan to support him in his marriage with his 3 beautiful kids as a friend. I am glad that I met with him.

My Steamy Date with Austin

Last Friday was one of the most amazing days of my life. I wanted to see Austin so bad all year and the day finally came. I did not feel like I was ready to see him because I had not been taking care of myself but I went with it anyway and hoped for the best.

In order to explain the importance of this date, I need to give some background on Austin. He is upper 30's, people pleaser, beautiful brown eyes, highly intelligent, geeky, and commitment- phobic. We dated 3 months last year with no commitment. I was cool with that. It was the best time I have ever had dating. I built trust with Austin and eventually had sex with him. It had been many years since I had sex. The last time I saw Austin was the only time I ever slept with him. We had spent the night together at least 3 times but no intercourse. The night we slept together I planned it. Austin escorted me to an event. We were all dressed up. It was a wonderful evening. He came back to my place and we had great sex. I could not of imagined a more perfect night. Every detail was in place. The next morning, we had wake up sex and then he was off to work. He kissed me bye and emailed me that afternoon but he never called me again! I did not react to it. I pulled away from him and 1 1/2 months later, he contacted me by email and apologized. We exchanged a few emails in the beginning of 2008 but that was it. I was devastated by the rejection. I did not stop though, I kept on dating. I did go through a funk over it and put on some weight. All year I wondered why Austin never called. We dated for 3 months. It was not like we were on the first date. I went through every reason I could think of to try and figure it out. Now, I know why he never called.

Fast forward to the present. I was so nervous to see Austin. I spent lots of time grooming so I felt like a million bucks when I went to go meet him. He originally said that he wanted to meet somewhere near me but I told him I wanted to meet him near the city. He suggested a wine bar which is the place we went on our first date last year. I walked up to the wine bar where we were meeting and he was sitting at a table outside. It was a lovely evening. He got up to hug me and kissed me on the cheek. We sat down and talked for a long time before ordering our wine. We both tried different wine flights and he also ordered a cheese tray. What I love about Austin is that he takes care of me really well. He would cut the cheese and bread and hand it to me. He had my wine glasses perfectly lined up where I knew what I was drinking. I did not know if this was friendly or if this was a date so I kept my distance. We had a great time talking and laughing. Austin kept touching my arm so I knew this was more than friendly. He eventually held my hand.

Next we went to another bar with loud dance music and hookahs. The place is so sexy. We sat on a really nice round, high backed couch. The lights were dim. We ordered some drinks and smoked a hookah. He kissed me and wow. He told me he forgot how sensual my kisses are. I was so happy that I wondered if it was actually real. We teased each other a bit and kissed off and on. The conversation was really fun. I learned so much more about him. I felt like he opened up and trusted me more. Later, we talked about going back to his place. I was not sure if I was ready for that so I was still considering it. All year long I have wanted to have sex with him and here it is right in front of me! The last person I slept with was Austin. The night moved on and I was seriously buzzed from the dirty martinis. I did not eat much earlier so that had everything to do with it.

After we left, Austin drove us by a late night fast food place so that I could sober up before driving. He was so cute. The man really knows how to serve me and please me. He totally gets my sexuality as well. We have never had to talk about it. As we were driving back to my car I told him that I had an idea. I said that I was staying in a hotel up the road for an event and he could come up. I told him to wait in the car while I went in to check in. Then I would text him my room number. My room was on the top floor overlooking the city with floor to ceiling windows. It was one hot, sexy night. When we were laying on the bed, he tells me that he felt humiliated the last time that we were together. He said that it was not me, that he felt like he could not "perform" for me sexually what I deserved. Looking back now, I put way too much pressure on him sexually that night. I did not mean to. It was my first time after many years so I joked about getting it on all night. This created performance anxiety in him. I remember him telling me that there was something wrong and that he needed to see a doctor. I told him that it was completely normal. I believe now that this is why he never called me. He was humiliated because he had performance anxiety. He went through it again this time as well and he tried to cover it up. I was trying to comfort him and let him know it is completely normal. He ended up telling me that he wanted to hold me all night long. We did and it was wonderful. I love that.

The next morning we woke up and took a shower together. He washed my hair, conditioned it, soaped me, and dried me off. We had more sex after that. Then he left to catch a plane and I had to get ready. He called me 5 minutes after he left and said that he had a wonderful time. I honestly don't know if I will hear from him. I told him to text me when he gets back in town. I want to believe that he will call or contact me in some way because he has such a conscience. If he does not, my plan is to not let another year go by in silence, I will nudge him and pursue him gently and slowly. This man excites me and he motivates me to face my greatest fears. And to think that when I first met him that I told myself that he was too geeky and that I would never see him again. HA! At the very least, I want him in my life as a friend. We get along so well and I have such a blast. Time will only tell.

All Too Familiar

You won't believe this. I was out shopping and talking to my girlfriend on the phone and then she blurts out that Phillipe just emailed her through a dating website! I felt so sick to my stomach. He told her that he knew me and that he recognized my friend through some of the photos that he had seen. He said he was just checking out the dating site and then he asked her how she was doing. I could not believe it. Phillipe and I met on another dating website and I told him in one of our first phone calls about another dating website that I use. I could no longer shop so I left the store and went home to get on the dating website. Then he saw me online and IM'd me on the dating website. He told me that he saw my friend and he emailed her to say hello. He said he was on the site to spy on me. He also told me that he thought my friend is cute. I agreed and told him that she is cute. I did not want him to think it bothered me. I think Phillipe was intentionally trying to make me jealous because he knows I have a date with Austin on Friday.

This is all too familiar for me. There was a guy that I dated last year that ended up having a crush on my friend. I made the huge mistake of going on a double date on the 2nd date. His attention was on her all night and he later told me about his crush. I was heartbroken over the whole deal. He was a jerk. I feel so lucky because my girlfriend is one of the best friends that anyone could ever have. I can trust her. She would never do anything to hurt me.

Dating Tip for Men and Women - Do not go on a double date or introduce your single friends to your date until you are in a committed relationship.

What Should I Do?

Yesterday Phillipe called me. I was so shocked when I saw his name pop on my caller ID. He said that he wanted to see me for lunch. I asked him why and he said that he wanted to be with me with no alcohol. We both arrived at the restaurant late. He still looked good in the daylight and was in casual clothing. He said that he was still not smoking and that my challenge motivated him to quit. Early on I told him that I was an ex smoker who quit 3 years ago and I asked him not to smoke around me or kiss me after smoking because it disgusted me. So he quit before our 1st date and asked me for my support. He has been a jerk lately and he told me that he would have a hard time detoxing from cigarettes.

I asked him why he wanted to meet me now rather than 2 weeks. He said that he wanted to make up his mind about what he wanted to do. I asked him for his thoughts about all of this. He said that he wants to date me regularly and sleep with me regularly but he does not want to call it a serious relationship right away. He said that we can evaluate it at a later time. I told him I was relieved because I was not ready to get in a relationship so fast with him. I asked him if we should see other people. He said do you want to see other people? I said yes, I already have a date scheduled for this Friday. He backed up for a minute and said, "What?" I told him that I was going to see Austin. This freaked him out. He said that he wanted to sleep with me before Friday so that he could feel secure about my date. I asked him why. He said that if he sleeps with me then I won't sleep with Austin. I told him that after Saturday I thought that we were done. I said that I was surprised to hear from him. We ended our lunch. He kissed me bye.

We spoke again later in the evening. I had more questions for him about what he is wanting to do. Our conversation got heated and I am sure that I pissed him off. I was trying to push his buttons to see what he would expose to me. I am just trying to find out if this is a one time deal or a "regular" deal. If I sleep with someone, I want it to be more than once. First of all, I do not see myself with this man in the long run. He is so not what I am looking for long term but I am physically attracted to him. Part of me wants to have sex with him. It has been a year and I don't let men in that close to me to sleep with me. I think I have some kind of problem with this. I love sex and lots of it but I have a hard time getting over the hump to have sex the first time with a man. Many women have sex right away. I used to do that when I was younger. I wish I could be that free again. He asked me to take a risk and see where it goes. I remember another guy that I dated said the same thing except he asked me to take a leap of faith.

Basically what all of this means is he is wanting to sleep with me and get to know me and maybe get in a relationship. At any time, either one of us could call it off. No strings attached. I am torn as to what I should do. I go back and forth about it. Part of me thinks he just wants to sleep with me until he finds someone new. I guess I would be doing the same as well. Logically, I know that he is not the one for me. But I do want to have some fun, though. I am not sure where we stand at this point. He was kind of nasty to me last night because of the conversation that I had with him. I am going to pull away and see what happens. It is hard to tell if he is just agitated from no smoking or if he is really like this. I know he is having a hard time. Us talking about the details of it all has messed up the fun part of sex for me. I don't like to think about when it will happen. It just happens.

I am weighing all of this carefully. What should I do? All thoughts are appreciated.

The Bitch is Back

The bitch is back and I am pissed off! This afternoon I heard from Phillipe because we were planning to get together this evening for the 2nd date. He tells me that he did not think it was a good idea for us to get together tonight for 2 reasons. One is that he went way over his budget on our date and did not have anymore money to spend tonight. I think he spent around $200 + last night. I was concerned that he spent too much last night but he kept ordering the food, alcohol, and appetizers. He said he was way out of control and he thinks he drank too much and at times did not know he was spending it. The second reason is because he felt a sexual attraction to me and that it was dangerous for him. I was totally baffled by this. He said that since we have been talking, he felt an emotional connection but then it was not present when we met. He said that he felt a strong sexual attraction to me all night instead. Phillipe told me that he was confused and needed some time to think about it. He said that in the past, he has slept with girls and just walked away and he did not want to do that to me. He told me he respected me way too much to hurt me. He said that when we met, he did not feel intimidated and shy like he did on the phone, that I was not as dominant in person???? He also felt like alcohol may have contributed to his intense animal behavior. He said he did not like the way he reacted to me. He thought he was saying and doing anything to get me to bed and he did not like that. I told him that I was also at fault because I was interested in making out with him so I too contributed to the sexual desire of the evening. He said he needed some time to think about it. We agreed that we would still talk and then meet up in 2 weeks without alcohol to see if there is a connection. If I weigh it all carefully, Phillipe does not have everything that I want. I was willing to overlook the fact that he has 3 very young kids and that he is weak financially. I really do like the way we communicate though, very open and brutally honest. I don't know if we will reconnect for another date. Only time will tell.

I am disappointed with all of this. I look back and yes I made major mistakes. I opened up too easily and revealed way too much of myself. I also NEVER SHOULD HAVE KISSED HIM ON THE FIRST DATE. I am now officially making a new rule for me and first dates, No kissing on the first date, period. I also will not be discussing sex at all before or anytime during the first date. AND I will not be doing any heavy petting on the first date. I showed way too much nice girl. I was too pathetic with my sweetness. I am tired of being real. Men may say they want real but it never works. The only thing that works is to be mysterious and a bitch...on to the next date.

The Date with the French Man

I just got home from a fabulous date. We were both nervous to meet each other. I arrived on time and he was already upstairs at the bar waiting for me. He wore a button up shirt with a tie. Very handsome. I love his face, he has a million dollar smile along with beautiful brown puppy dog eyes and long eyelashes. His body is rockin' as well :) We had dinner at a French restaurant on top of the roof while listening to live jazz. The air outside was perfect. Everything I ate, I had never had before (escargot, baked salmon). It was so delicious. He said that he loved the place and that it reminded him of home. He ordered a bottle of wine from France. Every time my glass was empty, he would pour it for me. I love being taken care of like that. It was neat seeing him so excited about the wine and food. He is a wine connoisseur. I was so impressed with his knowledge about wine. When we received our dinner, I asked him if he wanted to try some of my food. He said sure and then he got some of his food and fed me. I did the same in return. What a turn on.

We left the restaurant and walked down the street to a bar. He sat next to me in the booth and we drank exotic beers all night. I was rolling on a good buzz. He was smooth and snuck the kiss in while we were in the booth. His lips are big like mine so they fit well together. We kissed many short, sweet kisses while in the bar. All night long he gave me great eye contact. He consistently stared into my eyes. It was nice. Many beers later, he asked some deeper questions. At this point, my eyes started welling up with tears and they streamed down my face. How embarrassing! LOL He was awesome about it though. He grabbed my hand, kissed it, and faced his body with mine and nurtured my emotions. I asked the waitress to take our photo. He later asked if I could send the photos to him.

We left the bar and walked down the street and briefly checkout out the beautiful park. Then we went to my car and I drove us back to where he was parked. We stayed in my car for the next 3 hours making out! I love to kiss and he is an exceptional kisser. I did go further sexually than I normally do on a first date. He was very intense with me. I could feel his desire. I did get turned off when he asked me to give him oral sex. I could not believe he asked me to do that so fast. I told him that it was not the right time. We talked about our date for Saturday night and where we would like to go. He told me that it does not matter to him because he just wants to spend time with me. Phillipe and I have great chemistry. I think we get each other. It was very apparent when we would give each other a look and know that the other was thinking the same exact thing. Then we would bust out laughing. This will be interesting.

I am the type of person that has a real hard time having sex so quickly with a man. Sometimes I hate the fact that I struggle with it. After all, I am a 30s woman with a big sexual appetite. Part of me likes that I cannot have sex with a man until an emotional connection is established. Another part of me wants to be able to be free to have sex without feeling anything. So many women go way too fast sexually with a man which makes it very difficult for those of us that go slower. I can tell that with each man I date, the expectations are higher. Phillipe did tell me that he would wait for me to have sex. After tonight, I now know that he is highly charged sexually. I am too. I just hope he can be patient for me.

Right now I have this crazy insecure feeling. It all stems from a fear of abandonment and a fear of rejection. This happens sometimes when I have a really great date. I get fearful that I will never hear from them again. If you look at my history, that has never been the case but the fear still lingers...

911 Dating Emergency

Unfreakinbelievable!!!! Tomorrow night I will meet Phillipe for the first time. I am very much looking forward to meeting him. We have potential for more. I really like him and he has been expressing to me how much he likes me. Phillipe recently told me that he wants us to only see each other. He said he as a hard time with the idea of me seeing other men. I told him to slow it down and let's see how it goes. Take it step by step. I went into a bit of a panic yesterday trying to imagine myself with someone and committed. Quite frankly, it scares the crap out of me.

Tonight, the unthinkable happened. The text message that I hoped to receive again one day happened and I nearly threw up, passed out, and went into a seizure when I received it....AUSTIN ASKED ME OUT FOR TOMORROW NIGHT!!!!! His text message said, "Any plans for tomorrow evening?" "Let's have a glass of wine and catch up". OMG. Tears came to my eyes immediately. I was so pissed at the same time. All this time and I hear nothing from him about seeing each other this last year. We went out for 3 months this time last year. This is the one guy that I so badly want to see and kiss again. I am about to go meet a really nice (and hot) guy that I like and Austin wants to ask me out on the same day that I am about to go on a date with Phillipe? Is this crazy or what? I had to calm down and think about it for an hour before I responded back. For one thing, this will keep me from agreeing to an exclusive relationship with Phillipe for a little while. The one issue that I have with seeing Austin again is that I have gained one clothing size since I last saw him. I am not ready to see him right now. I told myself that if he contacted me then I would see him. Austin and I went out this time last year. I bet he has thought about us a lot. Dating him was so amazingly sexy, hot, and passionate. I have not quit thinking about him since last year. We ended up exchanging a few text messages. I told Austin that I have plans for Friday so I asked him about next week. We tentatively scheduled for next Friday. This will give me one week to lose a few pounds. I wish I could twinkle my chin and walla! 15 pounds lighter!

I am in shock. I cannot believe this happened. I am now really confused about all of this.

Max the Pervert

Alright that's it. Max is officially a pervert. Today he sent me a text at 8:11am asking me if I want him to send me a picture of his penis. Enough is enough. I hope my lack of response will make him feel like a schmuck.

Lenny is a Wimp

I don't think Lenny is the man for me. We have been chatting through IM and texting. I have given him my phone number and he has yet to call. He said he wants to talk via phone but I believe he is afraid to so he keeps hiding behind text and email. He sends me a text just to see if I can talk for the night and then we never do. What a turn off! Get some balls and call me even if that means you get my voice mail. At first it appears sweet like he is being respectful of my time but then it starts to smell like fear.

Dating Tip for Men - Don't hide behind text and email. You will look like a wimp. Be confident and bold and make the call.

Dating Tip for Women - If he does not have the courage to call you but instead sends instant messages and text, move on to the next guy. This is a clear sign that he is probably like this in other areas of this life.

Equal Opportunity Dater

I am an EOD...Equal Opportunity Dater. What this means is that even if you do not fit my physical traits that I desire in a man and you are a nice guy with a good personality, charm, and a stable job, then I might go on a date with you. I have male friends in my life that I know well. Normally, I would not think they are physically attractive but their hearts and everything about them make me attracted to them. So I know it is possible to get beyond the looks and fall for someone's heart. This does not mean that I am open to dating any man. I need to be a little bit physically attracted from looking at their photo or I won't go there. If I don't feel it on the first date, I will even go on dates #2, #3, or #4 to see if the attraction develops. I would have to be totally repulsed not to go on a 2nd date.

This leads me to my next potential...His name is Lenny. He is upper 30s, good stable sales job, 1 daughter, musician, and an all around good, polite, gentleman. I LOVE NICE GUYS. We have only been chatting through IM so far. The phone is next. He is very attentive. I love that.

I am not attracted to him physically except for his eyes and lips. He has one of the chunkiest faces that I have ever seen! This bothers me but I want to get to know him to see if there is a connection. So far, he has done everything right. He mentioned going on a date so I suspect that we will meet soon.

Dating Tip For Men and Women - You never know what prince or princess could be underneath an outer exterior. Try and date people outside of your typical standard of physical looks and see if an attraction develops. Don't limit yourself to one standard.

Back from the Cave

Today, Matt IM'd me again. He greeted me with, "Hey sexy ass". He is loving his new job. Overall he was fun and playful. John Gray from Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is so right. Men are like rubber bands. They pull away and go in their cave. If you leave them alone, when they come out, they will spring back to you. When they come out, they act as if time never passed. Interesting...

What Relief

I am so happy that I contacted Austin. It was the best decision. I believe I lived in fear about contacting him again afraid that he may not speak to me. I have dated so much since him and have dealt with the rejection so it made it easier for me to take the risk. I don't know what I was thinking. Sometimes that fear runs my life. I am so relieved that we spoke. I do miss him a bunch. I have yet to reply to his last email. I need to do that soon because he asked me some questions. Over the last few days I have realized more and more that it is worth the shot. You only live once and if you don't take the risk, you'll never know. I know people that live their life so afraid of rejection that they never take a risk on love.

I Contacted Austin!

Today, I got up the nerve to contact Austin. I sent him an email. It was relaxed, short, and sweet. I just told him that I wanted to check in and say hello and see how he is doing. I did not mention anything about getting together. After I sent it, I had a fear that he may not respond but then I told myself that I have nothing to lose because we are already not talking anyway. I clicked the sent button, took a deep breath, and let it go. SEVEN MINUTES LATER HE REPLIED! Tears started flowing from my eyes as soon as I read the way he wrote the intro. He wrote "Hey! I was just thinking about you the other day!" No wonder I had this overwhelming urge to contact him. We both have been thinking about each other! He said he could not believe it has been a year. The tone of his email was happy and excited to hear from me. He wanted to know what was going on in my world so I sent another reply and gave him some of the highlights. I tried to keep it as brief as possible. I also wanted to sound interesting. I once again did not mention anything about getting together. He replied again within thirty minutes with a much longer email than what I had sent. He said that his job is going well. He said he was proud of what I have been doing. He told me that he is happy that we are back in touch and mentioned checking our calendars and getting together at a lounge. I would love to see him but I am not ready yet. I will contact him when I am. I want him to kiss me again...I have never been kissed like that before.


On another note, I heard from Matt today. He instant messaged me and said that he got a job and starts tomorrow. He has been out of work for the last few months so I am happy for him. It is funny to me how 2 weeks can go by and then this guy you were seeing all of a sudden contacts you as if you just spoke to him yesterday. It has been 2 weeks since I have heard from him. 2 weeks to a man is like 1 day. 1 day to a woman is like 1 year.

Dating Tip for Women - As long as you did not repeatedly display psycho behavior to a man that you dated for at least a month, it is okay to contact him to say hello. Allow for plenty of time (3 or more months) to pass before you contact him. More than likely he will respond back and be thrilled to hear from you. You have nothing to lose because you are not communicating anyway.

Should I Contact Him Now? That is the Question.

Austin has been on my mind a lot lately. We were dating this time last year for 3 months. I have this overwhelming urge to contact him by email just to say hello and see how he is. We have not spoken since February of this year. Austin is a different kind of man. He pursued in the sense of when we were in person and on the date but in between the dates, he asked me to contact him. Every once in awhile, if he did not hear from me, he would call. I have never had this happen before. Usually the man contacts me every time. With the exception of Austin, men never ask me to call. They like to stay in control.

Austin and I had the most passion for each other. I felt very safe with him and he took really good care of me. I don't think anyone has ever treated me better. He paid attention to all of my details. If he noticed that my feet were hurting, he would just start rubbing them. If my wine glass was empty, he would fill it up. He enjoyed serving me. I never had to say a word. He has really great taste and we have the same interests so I always had the best time with him. It is hard to explain what happened between us but all I can figure out is that he got scared and ran. I can tell that Austin has commitment issues. I think this is completely related to his father walking out on the family and never coming back when he was a young boy. I never did ask for a commitment but it is possible that my actions and body language told him otherwise.

I did move on in the dating world since Austin but honestly, I have been in a funk all year. I have gone up a clothing size and quit taking care of myself like I was doing. I do plan to contact him again to try and see him, but I want to be looking and feeling my best when I do.

I might go ahead and just email him to check in. His status on Myspace showed that he is sad so I am curious to see if he is okay.