What Does Matt Want?

Matt is one of the men from the past that has contacted me again in the past few weeks. What is neat about this time is that I am getting to know him better. He hides behind humor and sex but the truth is he has a real soft heart. He lives with 3 other roommates. I am not real fond of that but the good thing about it is that he has known his roommates for 20 plus years. They all have a strong brotherhood which is admirable. It is hard to tell what Matt wants from me.

He called me tonight and he wants to get together but I am busy. He asked me to call him later so I did. We spoke briefly. He flirts a lot. Sometimes he is a bit too sensitive when I bust his balls. He said he would call again soon. I like the fact that we are becoming friends.

Handyman Does Not Quit

He came by my place again today and I did not answer the door. He has not done anything to abuse his power but I wish he would just go away. I will have to tell him strongly to not come to my door.

No Handyman Today

I did not hear from the handyman all day. I hope it sticks and that he leaves me alone.

Handyman Does Not Know How to Accept No

I ran into the handyman this morning. He asked, "Why are you not answering the door when I knock"? I said I had a lot going on. He said, "When are we going to have a beer"? I told him that it would not happen, EVER. He said, "Are you scared"? I said NO. I told him I do not get involved with married men. I gave him strong eye contact. I feel like it is now final. Let's celebrate!

Fear No More

Alright, I am tired of being scared. Today the handy man knocked on my door again. Why am I letting a little stalking get to me? It has me terrified to leave my place. I will not let this man get to me. I will live my life. I will be confident. I will be bold. What am I thinking being scared? I am a ballsy bitch! I won't be controlled or manipulated by anyone again. I am a powerful woman dammit! I won't let him piss on my territory.

A Piece of Max's Chicken?

As I said before, guys are so unpredictable. The guy that I psycho text messaged after 1 date, Max, has suddenly come back into the picture after months of not calling me. You really can erase your mistakes with a man because they forget. He told me that he does not remember why we quit talking. Max has been pursuing me sexually. We never had sex but he thinks I am easy because I went back to his place on the first date! I have to say that I am tired of the sexual comments instead of good innocent conversation. One thing that grosses me out about men is knowing that that they might have just been with another woman. I prefer to be with someone that has not screwed around in a while. How do you really know? Are they all lying? Do I really want to mess with Max's piece of chicken? I think I just talked myself out of it. I'll pass.

Stalked by the Handyman

About 2 weeks ago, I was hit on by the handyman. I saw him around 2 times before and wondered about the new hot guy. I had an instant animal attraction towards him. I needed some work done to my place so I placed a work order. He was the person that came to my door so I asked him to come back later because I was not dressed good enough. He told me he would come back the next day. I made sure that I looked nicer. He was in my kitchen and he asked if I was married. I told him no. He asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no. I told him that I have dated quite a bit. He told me that men today just want to sleep with you. He said that every once and a while it is good to have some sex. He told me twice that I should have a boyfriend because I am cute. He said I had nice lips, skin, hair, and eyes. He asked me if I drink. I said yes, I like beer and wine. He asked me if I would like to get a drink that night. I said no, how about another night. We planned a week and a half away. I found out that he is married. He came by my place the next week and asked he we are still on. I said no, it is not a good idea. I told him I don't want conflict. He kissed me on the cheek and said okay so our plans canceled. On the night we were supposed to meet, he sat outside in his truck and waited for me to come home. He asked me where I had been, that he came by and knocked on the door. I told him again that I am a nice girl and I do the right thing and that I don;t want to be involved in this. He shook my hand and left. 4 days later, he knocked on my door 5 different times. I did not answer. I ran into him later as I left for an errand. He told me that he came by my place to say hi. I said that I had a lot going on. He met my daughter because she was with me. What started out to be a desperate housewives fantasy has turned borderline stressful. Hopefully he will leave me alone.

I Won't Do That Again!

I began talking to this really great well rounded guy from a dating website. Let's call him Bob. We exchanged many emails but only had 2 phone calls. He is well cultured, a gentleman, and a good person. He told me how much he has really enjoyed talking to me. On the 2nd phone call, he started to ask some questions. Not too deep but definitely more probing. I ended up telling WAY TOO MUCH about my past and for the first time, I felt totally ashamed of the choices I have made. I tell my story all the time and have never felt ashamed but for some reason I did this time. I have been beating myself up about it for days because I have a feeling he will never call again. I think what I told him was a bit too much for him to take in for one phone call. He told me he would call later in the week but never did. That's too bad because he is such a nice person. I really liked talking to him but if he can't accept me for my past then I don't need him anyway. I have been through quite a bit which has made me who I am today. I know next time not to reveal too much to soon. Gosh, I know this stuff. Why did I screw it up?

On another note, I have been thinking about Austin a lot. I would love to see him again.

Men are Unpredictable!

I have had 6 men that I have dated in the past year contact me in the last 2 weeks. So strange! Why all of a sudden? I have not spoken to at least 4 of them since January. A couple of them were booty calls. Two of them are still pursuing me.