Matt Did Not Call Me Today

Matt told me that he would call me today and I did not hear from him. This hurts a bit because I was just vulnerable with him. He did call me yesterday and said he would call today. Oh great hear we go! Analysis! Why is it that I analyze men when I really start to like them? When I am not as in to them it does not make a difference to me. I am sure the main reason why I have had so many men from my past contact me again lately is because I started to put myself first and focus on me for a change. I think they sensed it. I have always been the side dish and I was finally making me the main course. Now that I messed around with Matt, I feel myself paying a bit more attention to him. I know the rules. I have read all the books. I can't stand the fact that this is my natural reaction. I sometimes wish that I could not have such a conscience after being physical with a man. I wish I could just walk away and not even think about it. I have this fear of rejection and abandonment that is driving the way I think right now. It is so hard to break. I have been going through all of the reasons why he did not call me today...Is he not attracted to me anymore? Am I just a girl that is for fun and not to be serious with? Is he not attracted to my body? I need to snap out of it. I know the thing to do is to focus on me and my goals. I need to have the attitude that he if calls great and if he does not great. But gosh, that will really piss me off if I do not hear from him again. I told him that I don't have sex or mess around with just any guy. He agreed that we would be a regular thing.